HOW THE WEST WENT NUMB


Scroll down! Read story! :-)





Once there was a Western town terrorized by an evil, murdering rustler named Sagebush.









No man or woman in the small town seemed to be able to stop him.








Not even the brave and mighty sheriff himself.









Then one day, they got some good news.

"I just heard that Loner the Cowboy is coming to stop Sagebush!"









"Loner the Cowboy! Why, I've never actually met him, but legend has it that he's the greatest in the west!"









"I see a stranger coming now! It must be him!"









"Howdie, folks!"









--"Please don't tell me that YOU'RE Loner the Cowboy, who's supposed to stop Sagebush!"


--"Oh, but I am, Sheriff, I am! The one and only!"









"He is! (sob) I asked him not to tell me...(sniff)!"









--"Er...scuse me, Loner. There seems to be some mistake! Legend had it that you were some great COWBOY!!"


--"I am!"









--"Well, call me old fasioned, son, but where I come from, cowboys wear cowboy HATS! Now, what ya doin' wit' dat fool pot on yer head?"


--"Well, if you must know, a friend of mine is using my cowboy hat for a fishbowl, so I have to wear this pot instead."









"Er...yeah...Well, what's wit' yer ridin' on dat COW instead of a HORSE?"









"Well, I said I was a COWboy, not a HORSEboy."









"Hoo-yeah...Okay, 'nother thing, Loner, you seem a might young to be a cowboy. Ya look like you can't be more than 10 years old."









"Again, you have to pay attention to the key words. I'm a cowBOY, if I was grown, I'd be a cowMAN."









"Know somethin', Sheriff? This guy might fall just a bit short of what we had a-wanted'."









"Let me talk to him...er...Loner, you say that you're here to stop Sagebush, but how fast can you draw a pistol?"









"Just watch."









"There, I drew it in no time at all."









--"Loner, do you know ANYTHING about handlin' a rustler?"


--"I should. I watch professional rustlers rustle each other every day on TV."









--"Do you even know how to FIGHT?!?"


--"Sure I do. I've been in a lot of fights."









--"Now, if I could only figure out how to WIN some."


--"!?!?!?!"









"Okay, Loner, you can't shoot, fight, or anything. Just how do you intend to stop Sagebush?"









--"Yeah, HOW?"


--"Would you believe...?"









"Like this?"


CLANG!!!!









"Wow! He used the handle of the pot on his head to knock out Sagebush!"









"Ah, now that he's unconscious, I can finally take him to jail!"









--"Nice work, son."


--"Oh, Loner, you are a HERO!"









--"Why, thanks, Ma'am, it was..."


CLANG!!!


--"EEK! You and that pot handle! When you turned around, you knocked out my husband!!!"










"I did?"


CLANG!!!









--"Hey, you!"


--"Be careful!"









--"Sorry...I..."


CLANG!!!--


"Now, look what you've done!!!"









"Eh?"


CLANG!!!










"Oh, dear..."









"Well, that's why they call me the Loner! G'dyup, Bossy! Mother wants me home in time for supper."



And so, thanks to our hero, The Loner, the once unruly town would now be peacful and quiet, at least for a while since everyone was to remain unconscious for the next several hours.


THE END



Back


Next


Home


Skits And Stories