Hello, folks! Here's your host, G.B., ready to once again share the benefits of FPsychotherapy with all of you! Although I'm a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, I'm somewhat limited in where I can work. This is mainly because employers can't seem to accept my exclusive discovery that every problem in the world can be solved through understanding Fisher Price toys and that it was a lack of understanding of these toys that caused the difficulty in the first place. Alas, every great discovery seems to get mocked in the beginning. I try to help where I can. That's why I've invited folks to take their troubles to me. Just take a look below at some of the letters I've received:


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Dear G.B., Iím a 19 year old guy living at home with my parents until I finish college. The trouble is that my folks are always on my case about something. They say that my generation wants everything handed to us. They say that we're weak and canít roll with the punches of life like they could. Iím always hearing them go on about how, in their day, people were much more well rounded and prepared for anything. How can I convince them that my generation is not a bad one, just different?


Signed, Fed Up




Dear, Fed Up. Itís certainly not unusual for generations to be in conflict. Nowhere is intergenerational conflict more rapid than in the world of Fisher Price Little People. The vintage Little People of the past were indeed more well rounded than the current versions; mainly because they were made that way with a ball shaped head and circular body. This unique body type also enabled them to roll with the punches when kids would hit them. And no, this generation of Little People never had a thing handed to them due to the fact that they had no hands at all. All of these qualities belonged to the Fisher Price Little People of yesteryear and your parents sound like they are very much in tune with their Inner Vintage Little Person. Donít dismiss these ideals as there is much wisdom to be learned from them. At the same time, your Mom and Dad need to respect that you are in tune with your Modern Armie Little Person, and that it has other strengths all of its own. Far from being weak, the modern Little People are always big, well armed and have two strong legs to stand on. They are also the products of a generation that has obviously paid a lot of attention to details; detailed facial features, detailed arms, legs, etc. Discuss things with your folks in a non-confrontational way and peace should soon prevail in your household. Many Fisher Price collectors have been able to put aside their differences over which style of Little People is better. If they can overcome their conflict, Iím confident that you and your parents can do the same.


Sincerely, G.B.


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Dear G.B., Iím in love with a beautiful woman and she is in love with me. I met her six months ago, weíve been dating and have plans to get married. Thereís just one problem; she hates cats and Iíve had my cat, Sweetie, for almost two years now. Iím very fond of her, but now Iím going to have to get rid of her. That hurts too, because I really wanted a life with my girlfriend, but if she hates my cat, the lady's got to go. Tell me one thing, how could anyone hate cats?


Signed, the Would-be-groom




Dear Would-be-groom, your fiancee is obviously living in a traditional Fisher Price world where cats were rarely ever seen. People like her look at the world of Fisher Price, see all the Little People smiling with few cats around, and come to the absurd conclusion that a feline free life leads to happiness. This is quite an unfortunate interpretation of Fisher Price toys because it is a misunderstanding of what they were about, and completely distorts their beautiful message. True, there were no domestic cats made in the traditional Little Person form, but there were numerous drawings of them on the lithos, in story books, coloring books, puzzles and even in an animated Little People cartoon. Furthermore, cats are being designed in modern Fisher Price form today. Cats have obviously always been part of the Play Family world, one way or another, which explains why the Little People were always so happy. Try to get your fiancee to understand this. If she canít, I think you have the right idea to move on. Youíve known your cat longer, your cat is more likely to love you unconditionally, a lot less likely to permanently run away, and there are many other available ladies out there who understood their Fisher Price toys and thus love cats today.


Sincerely, G.B.


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Dear G.B., I am a mother who is somewhat stressed out. I have five children, the oldest is twelve and the youngest is four. They can be such a handful at times. Itís not so bad when only one of them needs some individual attention, but when all five cut up at once, it can be so overwhelming. I love them, but sometimes they drive me bonkers. How can I make life better for all of us?


Signed, Tired Mom




Dear Tired Mom, itís clear that youíre suffering from a common Fisher Price ailment known as Old Woman In The Shoe Fatigue. It can happen to parents of any age and when it sets in, youíll feel just like the Little Old Woman in the Play Family sets or on the Fisher Price Music Box. Traditionally, the poem of The Old Woman In The Shoe has called for some rather violent and unproductive resolutions to her dilemma. But, leave it to Fisher Price to know a better way. The words to the Little Old Woman poem are spelled out on the Fisher Price Music Box and they clearly state that she, ďKISSED them all soundly and sent them to bed.Ē Fisher Priceís message was always that a little love went a long way. Where I might disagree with this Music Box is in its dietary recommendation. I would suggest that you do in fact give the kids some bread with their broth. In fact, I would recommend a completely balanced diet from the food pyramid. Well nourished children are apt to exhibit better behavior as well as sleeping patterns. Of course, one can hardly blame Fisher Price for this discrepancy, as their music box was made over 20 years ago when no one knew all the nutritional facts that we have today. Also, if you can get your hands on an actual Fisher Price Music Box of any theme, it can sometimes have an excellent calming effect for the entire family.


Sincerely, G.B.


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Dear G.B., I am a woman whoís involved in a very serious relationship with a man. The only problem is that I just canít figure him out. Sometimes he can be so sweet and thoughtful, but other times heís quite mean and screams at me for no apparent reason. I never know what mood heís going to be in from one day to the next and itís pretty disturbing as well as confusing. What in the world is wrong with him and what should I do?


Signed, Confused




Dear Confused, I wish I had a better prognosis for you, but it sounds very much like your boyfriend is suffering from Butchpolar Disorder. This is a common Fisher Price syndrome where an individual takes on equal characteristics of both the Frowning Butch and Smiling Butch Little People. Whereas most people will have occasional bad moods, Butchpolar individuals insist on giving a bad mood equal time to every good mood. And just as one cannot predict if theyíll come across a Smiling or Frowning Butch when they dig through a barrel of old toys at a thrift store, neither can one predict when a Butchpolar individual will be wearing a smile or a frown. Treatment for Butchpolar Disorder varies, but your boyfriend needs to get some kind of help for it, be it self-help or professional. If he refuses, you need to move on and find someone new. Thereís too many available Smiling Kennies out there for you to be settling for even a part-time Frowning Butch .


Sincerely, G.B.


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Dear G.B., My wife and I are a young couple in our twenties and married for a year now. Although weíre very much in love, we have discovered that married life is not as easy as it had originally seemed. Thereís just so much stress that goes along with it like bills, housework, trying to make ends meet, dealing with in-laws, etc. To top it all off, in a few weeks, my wife and I are going to be new parents! All this stress really gets to us sometimes. We see other couples with the exact same responsibilities that are perfectly happy and seem to cope just fine. How do they do it?


Signed, Stressed Out



Dear Stressed Out, family life can certainly be filled with challenges, difficulties and struggles at times. But, you and your wife have just as much strength to deal with it as any of the other couples. Those other couples have just done something that you two havenít yet. Theyíve gotten in touch with their Inner Fisher Price Play Family. Ever notice how the Green Dad and Blue Mom Little People are always smiling? And just look at all the responsibilities THEY have to deal with. I mean, how many jobs does the Green Dad have? Aside from being a devoted father, heís also a cowboy, zoo keeper, construction worker, helicopter pilot...and I havenít even mentioned all the other jobs he does when heís wearing a different colored outfit! The same thing with the Blue Mom, not only is she a loving Mother, sheís also a teacher, a nurse, a stewardess, a day care provider, etc. But, do either the Green Dad or Blue Mom ever let it all get to them? Never. Theyíre smiling all the way. Find the Green Dad in you and encourage your wife to find the Blue Mom in her and the world will be your toy.


Sincerely, G.B.


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Well folks, thatís all the time we have for now. So, until next time, this is G.B. reminding everyone to take it easy, play nice, and have a very Fisher Price day.


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